You can't control the abuse, but you can make certain decisions to protect yourself and your family.
Once you've made the decision to leave
- Keep a phone in a room that locks from the inside and memorize emergency phone numbers.
- Carry a mobile phone.
- Decide and plan where you will go if you leave home (even if you don't think you will need to).
- Make up an emergency code for your children, friends, relatives, or neighbors to alert them that you are in trouble and need help.
- If you are safe to do so, then prepare a bag/backpack to keep important phone numbers and useful things in a place where you can grab them quickly if you have to leave in a hurry.
Prepare to leave
- Try to draw up an escape plan and show it to your children.
- Make up an emergency code to let your kids know it's time to leave NOW.
- If you can, open a savings account in your name to establish and increase your own financial independence.
- Find the person who will allow you and the children to stay with them or lend you some money.
- Leave a set of keys, money, and xerox copies of important documents with someone you trust.
It is good to confess to the children that you may have to leave home at some point. Make sure they are old enough to understand that this needs to be kept secret and comfort them that you have plans to protect and protect them but you need their cooperation for it.
What is important to take with you
- Identity documents (driver's license, passport, birth certificates for you and the children)
- Bank cards, credit cards
- Car keys, house keys, and desk
- Children's favorite toys and blankets.
- Important phone numbers (see list below)
- Health insurance information
- Social assistance
- documents School and medical documents and papers
- Social Card and Work Permit Housing
- documents such as a rental agreement, deed of the property, or account statements of mortgage payments.
- Financial documents
- Marriage certificate
- Court orders of protection
- Sentimental items such as photos or favorite books.
Important phone numbers to remember or write
- Taxi Service
- Friends and relatives
- Local Women's Shelter (Your residency status could affect your ability to benefit from this shelter. If you cannot benefit from this shelter, the Homeless Persons Unit can help you find accommodation in an emergency).
- Local Rape Center
- Social Work
- Office Housing Office
- Your Doctor Your
- Team Leader
- Local Police Office
After you've left
- Keep in touch with us and with the local domestic violence service. They will help you stay safe as circumstances change.
- Get an anonymous phone number that won't be displayed.
- A device that displays the phone numbers that call you and with a robot.
- Save all messages that threaten you or violate any domestic violence court order.
- Open new accounts, in your name only.
- Avoid staying at home alone and diversify your daily routine - change the way you get to work, and don't go to the same bank or shop too often. If you must meet your partner, try to do so in a public place.
- Train children to know what to do if they see the abuser, and let their teacher know that only you are allowed to pick up children from school. Try to make sure that no one at your children's school will divulge your contact details.
- Talk about your situation with your boss at work and organize protective measures at work as well. This can refer to your lunch break, don't go to the table alone, ask a colleague to accompany you to the bus stop or parking space. You can also give your boss a picture of your abuser in case of a workplace confrontation.